My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
