i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize