I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
