Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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