I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
