Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize