grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
