Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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