so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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