i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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