Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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