My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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