You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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