I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
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I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
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Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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