Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
