ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
