i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
