She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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