i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
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