when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
