he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
