After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Randomize
