Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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