Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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