Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize