I wish they made helmets for livers.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
If I die, sorry about rent.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
