I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i will never coherently bang her
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize