So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
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