Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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