Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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