Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
