he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
