The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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