Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
