Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
We had to coat check the pizza.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize