dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Michael Bay diarrhea
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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