where does the pee come out of this thing
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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