All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
