They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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