they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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