Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
