angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
