Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
