no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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