i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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