can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
