I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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