I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Green mimosas i think yes
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
