So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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