goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
