That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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