Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
