he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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