I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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