We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
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getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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