Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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