I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
