You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
