remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
