You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
