all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Randomize
