Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
she peed on how many people?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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