I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
